This page covers some of the ideas and approaches used in the Weekend Groupwork focused on Anger.
It is a remarkable experience to join with others and realise you are not, as you have feared, alone in this. When you do the work with others - as a member of a therapeutic group -, you'll soon see that a), you're not a monster and b), you can learn a lot from hearing about the struggle that others are facing in their lives - two very good reasons to join a group to begin this kind of work.
That said, if you live close enough to my practice to attend regular appointments, I will of course work with you as an individual if that's what you prefer. See Individual sessions (links to my main counselling site and opens in a new window).
The first aim of the group is to provide you with information, to explain how and why we react with anger, why I see it as a necessary and healthy response and what happens to us physically as well as emotionally when it happens. Within this section, I hope to show what the typical 'true' sources of anger are - and you might see already that I seldom find that what you thought was making you angry is the true source of your pain or your anger. Within the 'information' aspects of the group, we look at the many different ways that people can express anger and we cover how to do a proper Time Out and how to talk about a difficult problem or issue.
The second aim of the group is therapy - to help you recognise and, if possible, explore the painful personal experiences that have led to this outcome in your case. Mostly, the things that make us angry - even ragingly angry -, seem to be in the here and now and often appear to be other people, or maybe a job. If your anger seems bigger than the thing that triggered it, it's a fair guess that the real source is something far more threatening and fearsome in your personal history. Uncovering that is the main aim of the therapy sections of the group work. Anger work can be hard and long and the group can be a significant step on your road to recovery, even if it doesn't completely resolve it immediately.
Many people suffering from this horrible and frightening outcome feel that they are either too ashamed or too frightened to work in a group setting. What that fear is depends on the individual; maybe you imagine a room full of angry people, or fear what you might do if someone says the wrong thing, or that your business is your business (and nobody else's!). In the end, it all comes down to you not wanting to, or preferring not to, work in a group. That's okay, nobody will or can make you join a group if you can't face it but, if you are an individual trying to work on your anger, it is one of the best ways to do this work.
If you want to think about doing this work as an individual, see: [Individuals]
Groups are usually mixed gender, it can be very helpful to see that what pushes men and women to these levels of distress is surprisingly similar. I usually give a 30+ page Anger Workbook out at the groups so that you don't have to take lots of notes to remember all the educational/informational stuff.
Some of the material covered is included on this site, so you can already see how I approach the subject. Add to that some exploration of the raw animal content of anger and its vital role in our survival, you will (I hope) develop a deeper understanding not only of your own response to the threats and traumas in your life but also, begin to recognise the responses of others. I don't do this to make you into an anger therapist, but to help you stay separated from other people's anger.
Within these sections, I will do my best to challenge you with the things you will need to begin working on immediately, things that can't wait for your healing to be completed.
While the above explores what is common to us all - and often common to the whole animal kingdom from reptiles upward -, this part of the group's work focuses on you, your pain, your life and your outcomes.
I can understand your fear - and I'd bet my wages on many of the others at the group you join will be feeling the same. I too have been through what you are contemplating and on that first evening, I was truly terrified.
Have a look at this Too Scary! and if you need to, give me a call and we can talk about it
In the end, if your desire to heal yourself is bigger than your fear, you will
be able to do it. And if you can't face a group for any reason, I can
and will see you as an individual.
See Booking terms, cancellations, etc: Anger Group FAQ
[How do I book?]
[How much does it cost?]
[How do I pay?]
[When do I have to pay?
[Contact & Locations]
[To book individual sessions] Links to my main counselling site and opens in a new window.